FAQ
 
At Walter Thurman.com, we've done as little as possible to create a website that anticipates and then ignores our customers' needs. With that goal in mind, we've compiled a list of frequently asked questions. If you do not find an answer to your question here, get used to it.
 
How tall are you?
 
My height varies from 5’7” to 6’4”, depending upon the weather.
 
Is it true that you are hairy like a gorilla?
 
No. Gorillas are bald by comparison. But I am quite apeish. Is that a word?
 
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
 
Convicted or prosecuted?
 
If two trains leave Chicago, one heading east at 40 and another to the west at 60, how long will it take until no one cares what I’m writing here?
 
I’m sorry, I stopped paying attention when you started talking.
 
Tastes great or less filling?
 
Neither.
 
Do you sign copies of your books?
 
I have no books out to sign, but when I do I will sign any that I can get my hands on.
 
Do you have an agent or a publisher?
 
Are you kidding? If only. That said, someday I hope to have one of each. You’ll know that day has arrived when this site is what one might call “professional.” Until then, break out the party hats! I have no idea what that means.
Frequently un-Asked Questions