He’s baaaaaaack...
I just got back from the Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference. A full week of critiques, sleep deprivation, and more critiques. I’d like to thank all the people I met there for their help in making me a better writer. I hope I returned the favor, but I somehow doubt it. I spent the first two days trying to come to grips with my own inadequacies as a writer. Turns out I needn’t have worried. I’m not totally useless, or so I’m told. How, you ask, do I know this to be true?
The conference has a number of contests over the course of the week. Awards are given by the workshop leaders in each genre. Another award is given to the person who writes the worst first line to a book. And believe me, they can be truly bad. But the big prize, the one everyone wants to win, is the “1,000 word” competition. A writing prompt is given the first night, and you’ve got until the day before the conference ends to turn in your entry. This year’s prompt was, “If only I hadn’t...” Those of you who know me can guess what the title of my work was. For those of you that don’t, it was, “If only I hadn’t bought that at home self-vasectomy kit.”
Take a guess who won. That’s right. For some sick reason, the panelists chose my work. The worst part, of course, was I had to stand in front of 500 people and read the story to them. A fitting punishment.
But now I know I have a lot of work to do on my manuscript before I kick it out the door. At least now I know how to do it. No more “guessing or “throwing darts” to see what needs to be cut. Now I can do it like a true professional. I’ll beat it with a hammer until it stops moving.
Jul 3, 2007