Before anyone asks what the title of today’s blog means, allow me to explain. Short version: a woman in Grand Cayman came up behind us as we stood outside the men’s room, staring at a small reptile. A man working at the bar walked past, and she asked him what it was.  His response?

 

“It’s a lizard.” Maybe it was funnier if you were there. I know I laughed my butt off.

 

 

Let me just start by saying that it may have been the most difficult writing experience of my life. I wrote the first half from the woman’s perspective. First person all the way. The second half (which I haven’t started yet because other crap has been piling up while I’ve been writing) will be written from the guy’s point of view. Definitely more familiar terrain.

 

If there is one thing November taught me, it’s that I’m not the greatest writer to ever walk the earth. Not that I ever held that belief, but now, at least, it’s official. This isn’t to say that I didn’t learn anything else. I learned plenty, none of which is important to any of you reading this. But to me, it was invaluable. I had to think differently. I had to write differently. I had to pause from time to time and say to myself, “Yeah, normally I’d have my protagonist tell the other character to sit on it and spin, but this protagonist doesn’t use that sort of language. And she can’t club him over the head with a lamp, because she’ll lose her balance in that ball gown and fall. Wait, that might be funny.”

 

Now I’m taking a break to focus on things that matter. Query letters. Wrapping packages. Mailing packages. Keeping other packages away from our cat who has an odd fascination with licking shiny things. Updating ye olde blogge. Laundry. Cooking. You know, the basic stuff that normal people somehow squeeze into their daily grind but which I neglect when I’m in the zone. My wife thanks me in advance.

 

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I can hear the cat attempting to slurp down one of the ornaments on the tree...